Returning to Work after Parental Leave

After my daughter was born in 2020, I knew after nine months that I was ready to return to work. So it came as no surprise to feel the same way following the birth of my second daughter last year.

Thankfully, I found it much easier to admit to myself how I felt this time. I realised that despite the ‘mum guilt’ about leaving her, being ready to return to work would not make me a bad mother. In fact, I know that it makes me a better one. I absolutely love every second that I spend with my children when I am not working, as well as being able to work hard at the job I love, and trained really hard for.

It is, however, not to be underestimated how hard juggling children and a career really is. As any parent balancing childcare with work will tell you, it is not for the faint hearted. The highs do, of course, outweigh the lows. Nevertheless, the constant tiredness, feeling as though you’re being pulled in different directions and always having a million things to think about (for both personal and work life) are just some of the issues to navigate after returning to work. I have learnt there will always be school events that clash with essential training sessions, various appointments such as dentists, or sudden illnesses thrown into the mix at short notice – all part of the fun!

Every parent is different and will feel differently upon returning to work after parental leave but so many of my contemporaries agree that after months of poonamis. weaning and nursery rhymes, getting back into the office makes a welcome change. Copious amounts of coffee will be needed to get through some days, and you may cry like a baby all the way to work and need lots of emotional support on your first day back.

The skills learnt during parental leave are undoubtedly transferable in my role, and will be for many others too. For example:

1. Time management – a regimented routine is required every morning to make sure we are in the right place at the right time. The ability to manage our time with clients and working on their legal matters will be vastly improved because we no longer have the time for procrastination, and then working late or catching up at weekends. We need to be productive during office hours and make sure we leave on time ready to collect the children punctually and get home for the evening routine.

2. Preparation –I have always devoted time to preparing legal cases thoroughly – particularly before a court hearing. There is no doubt that becoming a parent has fine-tuned my preparation skills! I don’t believe anyone who says they can get out of the house on time in the mornings unless the bags are packed and everything is ready for nursery, school and work the night before.

3. Emotional empathy – the dreaded ‘mum guilt’ was a new thing for me after my first child was born and it has never gone away. Unsurprisingly, I have the same feeling of ‘mum guilt’ second time around. Many parents will feel upset about no longer doing school drop offs/ pickups, not being able to spend as much time with the children in the evenings and sometimes having to leave them with the other parent or family member if they become unwell and it clashes with something immovable. However, as a family law specialist, I feel I can really empathise with clients now on a level that I couldn’t before, particularly when it comes to discussing their own issues relating to their children.

4. Support – I had heard the phrase “it takes a village” before having children but could not possibly have understood what it meant. Now I know – we all need to lean on others sometimes and that is applicable at work as well as when raising our children. We will sometimes need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to and we should have that support from our co-workers, and more importantly, if the support is there, we must learn to accept it and be prepared to give in return.

Finally but importantly, I have learnt that with the return to work following parental leave, we should feel confident. Confident that we do know what we are doing and that taking the time off to spend with our children is not a weakness, but for the many reasons listed above (and more), it is a great strength to us, our children and our place of work.