How do you divorce a spouse if you do not know where they are?
Starting a divorce is difficult enough without the added worry of not knowing where your spouse is. It is a situation many people find themselves in after a long separation, particularly where contact has faded over time or communication has broken down completely.
The short answer is that you may still be able to divorce even if your spouse cannot be found or simply refuses to co-operate. In England and Wales, the court’s focus is not on forcing someone to take part, but on making sure reasonable steps have been taken to notify them or, if that is not possible, asking the court for permission to move matters forward without the usual ‘proof of service’.
Can you start a divorce if you do not know where your spouse lives?
Yes. Since the introduction of no-fault divorce, the legal basis for divorce is the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. It is no longer generally possible for a spouse to defend the divorce simply because they do not agree with it. However, you still have to deal properly with the procedural issue of service. In other words, the court must be satisfied either that your spouse has been sent the papers in an approved way, or that there is a proper reason why the case should continue without that having happened. This is where specialist advice can be particularly important.
What should you do first?
Before asking the court to help, you will usually need to show that you have made reasonable efforts to find your spouse. That might include checking the last address you had for them, contacting mutual friends or family members, making enquiries with a former solicitor if one acted for them previously, or using any other sensible source of information available to you. In some cases, a professional tracing agent may also be considered.
The key is evidence. The more clearly you can show what has been tried, the easier it is to explain to the court why ordinary service is not possible.
What if they are avoiding you or simply do not respond?
Sometimes a spouse is not “missing” at all. You may know a likely address, an email account, or some other way of contacting them, but they ignore messages, refuse to acknowledge the divorce paperwork, or make themselves difficult to pin down. That can still be manageable. Depending on the circumstances, it may be possible to ask the court to treat service as effective, or to permit service by an alternative method or at an alternative place.
For example, if there is reliable evidence that your spouse is using a particular email address or remains in contact with a close relative, the court may in some cases allow service by that route. If there is enough evidence that the paperwork has in fact come to their attention, the court can also be asked to deem service good. Where all realistic avenues have been exhausted and your spouse genuinely cannot be found, an application can be made to dispense with service altogether.
What are the steps involved?
- Prepare the divorce application and consider what address or contact details, if any, you have for your spouse.
- Take sensible and proportionate steps to trace them, keeping a careful record of what has been done.
- If you have a possible route for contact but standard service is not working, consider whether an application for alternative service or deemed service may be appropriate.
- If there is no viable route and your spouse cannot be located, consider an application asking the court to dispense with service.
- Once the court gives directions or makes an order, continue the divorce process in line with that order.
No two cases are exactly the same. What the court will require depends on the facts, including how long ago you lost contact, what information you still have, whether there are any reliable family connections, and what attempts have already been made to locate your spouse.
Why legal advice matters
If your spouse cannot be found or will not engage, it is still often possible to move forward with a divorce, but the process must be handled carefully. A mistake with service can cause delay and unnecessary cost. Taking advice at an early stage can help you decide what tracing steps are sensible, what evidence should be gathered, and whether the right application is for alternative service, deemed service, or dispensing with service entirely.
Where communication has broken down, the right legal support can make the path forward much clearer.
How Fraser Dawbarns can help
Our family law specialists have experience of helping clients to obtain a divorce even when their spouse cannot be traced or does not want to be found. However, it does almost always take considerably longer than a more straightforward divorce. For instance, in a recent case we assisted Mrs W, who had been estranged from her husband for many years and didn’t even know whether he was alive. However, the process of obtaining a divorce did take around five years.
Emma Stearman, who heads the family law team at Fraser Dawbarns, comments: “It is extremely important to highlight the problems which can arise where couple separate, choose to delay divorce proceedings and then no longer have any contact with each other. Although it is possible to divorce without the other spouse’s knowledge or consent, it can be far from easy, particularly where the person is deliberately trying to hide or run away to make matters more difficult. Historically, some couples delayed divorcing for reasons surrounding whose ‘fault’ it was that the marriage had broken down. However, the introduction of ‘no fault divorce’ in England and Wales in 2020, generally gives couples less reason to delay bringing a formal end to their marriage.”
Whether you believe your divorce should be straightforward or accept that it may potentially be more complicated, our family law specialists will be happy to provide advice on your situation and your options. Appointments are available in our offices in King’s Lynn, Ely, Wisbech, Downham Market and March, or we can offer video appointments if this is easier for you. Please contact us by phone, email or via the contact form below.
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In order to protect client anonymity, the initials in the above case study have been changed and do not relate the the client or other parties in any way. This article aims to supply general information, but it is not intended to constitute advice. Every effort is made to ensure that the law referred to is correct at the date of publication and to avoid any statement which may mislead. However, no duty of care is assumed to any person and no liability is accepted for any omission or inaccuracy. Always seek advice specific to your own circumstances. Fraser Dawbarns LLP is always happy to provide such advice.